Me and a friend went out one night, walkin' in the street.
We talked of God and the end of the world; I stuck my head in a fire hydrant.
The night was cool; it was around the time that the bad ladies come out,
While river rats broke windows and performed unnatural acts.
We walked halfway across the town and sang in an amphitheatre,
Then we walked a little further and admired some graffiti.
Dodging cars as we crossed the highway, we sure must have looked ugly.
My shirt was soaked, the grass was wet; I stuck head in a fire hydrant.
We talked of things in the Good Book while there was a naked lady on TV.
She had no care, she had no shame, she had little propellers on.
My friend, he said "I can't help but look at this naked lady's body."
I said "Dear friend, you got a dirty mind -- stick your head in a fire hydrant."
Earlier that evening, I went to a banquet, hoping she might be there.
But she wasn't so I went to this other girl's house who was freaked out on drugs.
So later after that, after the first part of this song, on my way home,
I drove past this other girl's house who would not accept my calls.
I noticed she had her light on as I drove slowly by.
I wondered if she noticed me; I stuck my head in a fire hydrant.
