Dancing to Hilda's cabinet band
Doing the one where you never turn around
Up the hall slowly, down the hall fast
And a dignified finish on your arse
Put your right boot in, put it in again
Poll tax your girl in the middle of the ring
Privatise your partner, do it on your own
Kick the smallest one amongst you, promenade home
Dancing to Hilda's cabinet band
Doing the one where you never turn around
Up the hall slowly, down the hall fast
And a dignified finish on your arse
Swing your lady half a mile up the centre aisle
Wage cut your neighbour, do it with a smile
Bow to the caller, dozie-dole the men
And deregulate the couple at the bottom end
Dancing to Hilda's cabinet band
Doing the one where you never turn around
Up the hall slowly, down the hall fast
And a dignified finish on your arse
Underneath the arches, make yourself at home
Walls made of cardboard, beds made of stone
Penny on the water, twopence on the sea
And threepence on the roundabout and round go we
Dancing to Hilda's cabinet band
Doing the one where you never turn around
Up the hall slowly, down the hall fast
And a dignified finish on your arse