I'm feeling numb, thinking of changing my name to Crystal Meth
Playin' this game, holding my mic like a pistol: aiming at death
But I love nobody, alone in this world that's how I came in it
But shit could flash and reverse the same in a minute
I don't even love life no more, my niggas, I just live it
And I don't love love, all the hurting is infinite
I cry myself to sleep sometimes, wept a gallon of tears
From malice, divorce meets to lost peers
Drowning in a haze of smoke and glasses that never ran empty
Bottles of Sojo, cheap vodka and twenty; twenty
Spending my pennies for thoughts on quarts of henneything
Got none pain like the movie have plenty
Like a shotgun, double barrel fully loaded ready to blow
I wanna turn around and aim at myself
Been feeling my health
I hardly even eat no more
My lunch is munchies from the corner store: tropical fantasy
Me and my family, me and my niggas used to be tight
And now we see each other on the block with no pound
Keep it moving you gotta move on. I know I'm doing it right
I'm still livin' hustling life, and still here
[Hook]
For all my niggas that smoke a pack a day
For all my niggas hold the bottle drink the pain away
What type of life is this?
For all my niggas that getn' the cash
And all my niggas that chill on the av
Lets keep livin'
For all my niggas drink the pain away
For all my niggas smoke a pack of Newports a day
What type of life is this?
For all my niggas that getn' the cash
And all my niggas that chill on the av
Lets keep livin'
Grew up as a, child of an alcoholic, sister to schizophrenic
Already inherited one and they both a genetic
When sun falls I gets no sleep
Nights are filled with party and bullshit
Bacardi and full clip
Just to deal with it
I got a full heart, but don't feel with it no more
I got fury of a woman scorned
Just live my life like the x-files and trust nobody
Forgetting everyone, and now I'm just forgetting the money
Funny how shit can change and switch up fragile to whip on you
Spent too much of my young life just trying to stitch shit up
I'm living day by day now
Every step is play by play hand to mouth
I'm just trying to make the moments count
Eyes weak stressing my soul
Chest roll from a heavy smoking addict since nine: a nicotine addict
Devoted at it but still, I need some kinda relief
I quit the trees at least
I'm learning niggas but I'm slow at it
Always give my motherfuckers the benefit of the doubt
But it seems that everybody is just out for self
I used to love her, but now I gotta make her work for my wealth
I gotta eat
From rappin' to nicotine
Niggas will clap and niggas will fiend
From some shit I never seen to everything I been through
It's like, loosing the love of your life twice in the same night
Being deaf for years, gained your hearing and loosing your sight
Tryin to shine, but just getting eclipse
I'm just tryin to find the perfect words to fall from my lips
Thinking too hard about what shit has fallen, mainly the chips
Hoping by the next time installment that I'm not attempting to slit wrists
work my way up from the bottom to the
Top of the ladder, claim what's rightfully mine
Working against time, it's been too long
And I haven't had a chance to leave y'all yet: I apologize
Getting older and wiser, seen the picture painted
My destiny faded for this, and not for easy times
I put my heart in these rhymes always
Love it or, leave it or ready to die? Yeah I'm ready
